Stay Hairy Tote Bag

The "STAY HAIRY" Tactical Loot Sack

You need a bag.

Not for your pathetic "farmer’s market" kale or your "beach day" towels. You need a real bag. A Loot Sack. A tactical vessel for carrying important things, like stolen pies, interesting skulls, and maybe a two-four of Molson you liberated from some campers in the woods.

This ain't just a bag. It's a billboard for the most important philosophy in the world. It says "STAY HAIRY" right on the side. It's a reminder to be true to your wild, chaotic self. Don't be a bald, boring human.

The Legendary Features:

Tough as Hell: It's made of 100% heavy-duty cotton canvas. That means this sucker is strong. It can probably carry more than you can lift, you weakling. I tested it by filling it with heavy rocks to throw at the Yeti's cave. It held up.
Getaway-Ready Handles: The handles are reinforced so they won't snap when you're making a quick getaway from a campsite you just ransacked.
Pointless Human Neatness: They tell me it has "flat corners." I don't know what the hell that means, and I don't care. It sounds stupid. But if you're into neat corners, good for you.
Comes in Two Colors: Natural, like my fur after it's been bleached by the sun and my own terrible decisions. And black, like the heart of a non-believer.

How to Clean Your Loot Sack:

It's a canvas sack, not a tuxedo. If you get raccoon blood or poutine gravy on it, wipe it off. It adds character. The human instructions say "spot clean" and "line dry." That means hang it on a damn branch and let the wind do the work. Do not iron the sacred words, or you will be smited.

Buy the bag. Carry cool shit in it. Stay Hairy.

- Bigfoot

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For EU & UK customers:

EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY

Product information: Liberty Bags OAD113, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC

Care instructions: Spot clean, Do not bleach, Line dry, Do not iron directly over the printed area - print may stick to the iron.