I Believe in Bigfoot T-Shirt

Alright, You Degenerates, Listen Up.
So you want to show your support, but in a more subtle, less-sweaty way. Fine. I get it. Not everyone can rock a full fur coat year-round. This is for you.

It's for you believers who are a bit more "undercover." The logo is smaller, classier. It says, "I believe in the big guy, but I'm not gonna shout about it." It’s a great way to identify other weirdos with good taste. If you're out hiking here in the Finnish woods and you see someone else wearing this shirt, you know they're probably not a complete jackass. Probably.

It’s a shirt. It covers your torso. It’s good for hiking through my damn forest (quietly, please), for sitting on your ass playing video games, or for meeting up at whatever shitty bar you humans like so much. It tells the local trolls and elves you're on the right side. They respect that.

So, show your support. Be a believer. But, you know, a casual one.

The Nitty-Gritty Details (My Two Cents):
Shoulder Stuff: Apparently, there's some tape in the shoulders so when you're running away from me, the shirt doesn't stretch out and get all saggy. Thoughtful, I guess.

No Itchy Side Seams: They made it like a tube of fabric. No seams on the side to get all scratchy when you're sweating your ass off looking for me. You're welcome.

Tough Neck-Hole: The collar is ribbed, so it won't get all stretched out and floppy after two washes. It keeps its shape, unlike most of you after a long weekend.

Good, Solid Cotton: It's 100% US cotton. Strong stuff. It's got these little natural color flecks in it, so it looks... earthy. I'm earthy. It works.

Made by Decent Humans: Again, some crap about being ethical and sustainable. Fine by me. Just don't throw your trash in the lake when you're done with it.

How To Not Ruin Your Shirt:
Bleach: Don't. Unless you want a white shirt, then whatever. Your call.

Iron: It's a t-shirt. If you're ironing a t-shirt, you need to re-evaluate your life. Just wear the damn wrinkles. It builds character.

Dryclean: Are you insane? It's a t-shirt. Don't be that person.

Washing/Drying: Cold water in the spinny box. Low heat if you must use the hot spinny box. Or just let the rain wash it for you. It's free.