I Believe in Bigfoot

It's a Mug. It Holds Things. You Should Buy It.
Alright, listen up. You need something to drink your coffee from besides your own cupped, dirty hands. This is it. It's a mug. It holds hot shit so you don't burn yourself and it holds cold shit so your hands don't get all wet. It's a miracle of engineering.

This one says "I Believe in Bigfoot" on it, which is a good way to let other, dumber people know that you're one of the smart ones. It's got a big, comfortable handle so you don't drop it, and the colors are "vibrant," which is human-talk for "hard to lose in a pile of leaves."

It's a fantastic gift for your friends who also make good life choices, or for that uncle who keeps watching those fake-ass Bigfoot hunting shows. Get one for yourself. You deserve it.

The Official Specs (My Commentary Included):
Glossy Ceramic: It's shiny. You can see your own stupid, not-hairy face in it while you drink.

Vibrant Colors: They used some fancy human magic to make the picture look good. It'll probably outlast your car.

Microwave-Safe: You can put it in that science box that makes your coffee hot again. Don't ask me how it works. It's witchcraft.

Dishwasher-Safe: Apparently you can put it in your magic washing box instead of cleaning it in a creek like a normal creature. Your call.

Durable and Lead/BPA-Free: They tell me it's made of stuff that won't poison you. That's a nice bonus, I guess.

How to Clean This Thing (It's Not a Spaceship):
You can clean it in your dishwasher, or you can do what I do: find a stream and use some sand. Or just wipe it on your pants. It's your mug, do what you want.